Common Name

Here are a few open letters to some people who share the name Jeremy Murray (there are quite a few of us) whose communications have somehow ended up with me:

Collections

Dear Jeremy Murray born in September of 1975,

A debt collection agency named PRC (Professional Recovery Services) has been calling for you. They have an interesting robo dialer that does a decent Text-to-Speech job on our name. Their message considers your staying on the phone as confirmation of your identity, which is new to me. Anyway, they'd like to talk to you. Their phone number is 800-991-5278. It is somewhat difficult to convince them that I am not you and that I do not have your social security number. They said they wouldn't call me again, but that hasn't worked so far.

Hope it turns out to be a case of mistaken identity for you, too.

-Jeremy

Hockey

Dear Jeremy Murray from Canada who participates in a hockey league,

Pierrefonds, Quebec seems like a really cool place. You guys definitely love your hockey! It is also very nifty that you have a league but allow players to sub out as needed. It is interesting how often a team ends up being short players TONIGHT and needs to send a global e-mail out looking for players.

I am glad that the season is starting up again, and if I lived anywhere close by and knew how to skate better than a blind moose on a steep incline, I'd love to attend.

Thanks for keeping me posted, though!

-Jeremy

Australia

Dear civil engineer Jeremy Murray from Australia,

I believe that Canberra is supposed to be just starting to warm up. That means you will probably be pretty busy approving parking lots and building footers. I will say that the plans that your various clients have sent for your approval remind me of when I was working as a surveyor in High School - good memories.

Hope all is well with you. If anyone ever sends me your real e-mail, I'll be happy to forward these on to you instead of replying to the clients themselves.

-Jeremy

Job Application

Dear Jeremy Murray who is looking for a job,

Hello. I hope the job search is going well.

I looked over your resume that one of your prospects sent out. They were asking for clarifications on your education. I directed them to call you by the phone number it contained - I assumed that number was not also incorrect like the e-mail address.

They seemed very nice and were still interested in contacting you, so I hope that worked out.

-Jeremy

BlockBuster

Dear Jeremy Murray who bought stuff from BlockBuster,

Hello. I know that spam is a major concern, so when you signed up for BlockBuster Total Access, you probably used my e-mail address just because you didn't feel it was important to get any communications from them.

But it turns out, it might be worth your time! Seems they have special offers on movies pretty constantly. They also send over all the receipts of everything you purchase. (Robin Hood is a damn fine movie, almost any version - good pick.)

Since their customer service department cannot be convinced otherwise (by e-mail or phone), I'll keep on receiving these until you change your address.

Happy watching!

-Jeremy

Insurance

Dear Jeremy Murray who is looking for car insurance (in Alabama, I think),

Hi. About a year ago, it looks like you were investigating new car insurance online pretty heavily. You probably didn't want any spam (I can appreciate that) so you used my e-mail address instead of your own (I don't especially appreciate that).

Turns out that on several of the sites you visited, you requested quotes with follow-up contact. This left multiple insurance agents very confused and a little crestfallen that I am not at all interested in their insurance quotes, automobile or otherwise. They keep trying though, even up to today. This one guy named BJ from Allstate was especially interested in your business, so I believe he looked you up locally after our phone conversation.

Hope you found a good deal after being so thorough.

-Jeremy

Skateboarding

Dear Jeremy Murray the professional skateboarder,

You totally deserve to be higher in google pagerank than me. I've never been mistaken for you or received any of your correspondence.

All of my skateboarding knowledge is from Tony Hawk and Skate or Die games, but your videos are pretty sick. Best of luck with that.

-Jeremy

 
blog/20111116_common_name.txt · Last modified: 2011/11/16 17:51 by Jeremy Murray · []
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